Recently, I looked into other individual’s blog and one of them included Bahja’s blog post on relationships. Her post, “Healthy Relationship Tips!,” gave tips on what good relationships contain, including why respecting individuality is important, having the ability to express yourself to the other without fear, taking interest in each other’s favorite activities, and why communication is key. While reading through these tips, I connected these same points to my current relationship with my boyfriend, and wanted to discuss why doing these same tips helps my relationship.
Bahja discussed in her blog that respecting individuality is very important for relationships and even for if that relationship goes away. Bahja states that, “…its important to spend time with your friends and do your own things.” This aspect is probably one that, in my relationship, we struggle with the most. Even when one of us needs to go to work for an eight hour shift and went to classes the same day, we still seem to find time to see each other, even just for a small amount of time. I know this is not the healthiest, so we try to at least spend time in groups to where we can spend time with each other and our friends. Bahja does express that, “…couples need to understand that have a sense of Individuality is healthy because everyone needs time to spend alone, and get to know themselves.” I completely agree with this tip, and know that I need to bring it into my own relationship more.
Personally, I have always struggled with the next tip, which is being able to express feelings to one another. My personality is the type that tries to be reliant on only myself and honestly, I’m very self conscience. I usually blame myself when things go wrong, and I push people away because I don’t want to hurt anyone. Although, throughout my current relationship I’ve felt like I have made changes and been more open about my feelings. Before my boyfriend and I made things official, we spent hours talking about what our relationship expectations were and any concerns we had. Overall, I think this helped our relationship to be where it’s at today.
In a previous relationship that I have had, I seemed to have been the only one reaching out and trying to participate in my partner’s interests. I was always trying to get my partner to do things that I liked, yet he either wouldn’t want to, or just complain the entire time. In my current relationship, I feel so much happier because I like taking interest in what my boyfriend likes and he willingly wants to try things that make me happy so that we can do them together. Taking interest in your partner’s activities makes the relationship feel equal, and both partner’s get the satisfaction of other’s trying out their favorite things.
It’s repeated over and over again how communication is key to a relationship, and it’s repeated because it’s completely true. The first step to any of the other tips is communication. Many couples fail to realize how much they lack communication, because it’s easy to just shut people out, which is what I’ve done before. All of Bahja’s tips truly are essential for relationship’s, because her tips show up in my relationship all the time, and they make a huge impact based on if I practice her tips or not. These tips help romantic and non-romantic relationships, and shouldn’t be taken lightly if you are trying to build a solid relationship.